From An Introvert’s Corner

About

Welcome and thanks for visiting. My name is Karl and I live Maryland, USA. I’m a husband and father of two kids. I work for the federal government as an IT Specialist/Project Coordinator. When not working, I like to read and play games (mainly on PlayStation). I’m a hobbyist photographer and guitarist though I have been slacking on both.

I’ll be sharing whatever is on my mind . Thanks for visiting.

recent posts

    From An Introvert’s Corner

    Random Thoughts from a Moody Introvert

    • The Most Wonderful Time of the Year??? Bah humbug

      Andy Williams famously sang the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”. Other artists have done their own rendition over the years but the lyrics are the same.

      It’s the most wonderful time of the year
      With the kids jingle belling
      And everyone telling you be of good cheer
      It’s the most wonderful time of the year
      It’s the hap-happiest season of all
      With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
      When friends come to call
      It’s the hap-happiest season of all

      Is it really the happiest season of all though? Up until 21 years ago, it was for me. I loved Christmas and had Christmas Spirit. I have vivid memories of past Christmas’ as a kid. The excitement of ripping off the wrapping and seeing the toy I asked Santa for or being surprised with a toy that I didn’t ask for.

      I loved going to my maternal grandparents house for Christmas dinner and opening more presents. I was excited to see all my aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I was excited to walk in their house and get smacked with the aroma of turkey cooking in the oven.

      Sadly, I don’t remember much of my paternal grandparents. They passed away before or around the time I was born. All I have is pictures of them.

      As I got older, the excitement died down a little but I still enjoyed getting presents and being surprised. I still liked getting together with my family and smelling that turkey.

      I mentioned at the beginning my Christmas spirit changed 21 years ago. Actually, it didn’t change it went poof!

      It was 2004 and I was married to my wife. We didn’t have kids yet but we were trying. My father was in his 4th year of battling pancreatic cancer. I found out about his cancer on our honeymoon of all things in 2000. Looking back I was completely numb and had no idea what that meant. Maybe naive is a better word.

      My father’s cancer had gone into remission maybe a year before and thought the worse was over. Wrong. The cancer caused additional problems and probably came back. Again I was naive, numb, or simply couldn’t process what that meant. I didn’t understand what my father and mother were going through with the treatment, surgeries, procedures, etc.

      While my father was not doing well neither was my maternal grandmother. She had lung cancer and was going into treatment for that too. Without going further down the rabbit hole, my father passed away 10 days before Christmas and my grandmother passed away on New Years Eve…two weeks later in 2004

      To this day, I don’t know how my Mom dealt with it. Lost her husband and lost her mother in the span of two weeks. My grandmother spent the rest of her life including Christmas in the hospital.

      For me, I was lost. I don’t know how else to describe it. Maybe I should have gotten therapy at that time or maybe just opened up to my wife more. I don’t know. I do know my heart hurt badly. On my wife’s side of the family she sadly lost several aunts, uncles, and other relatives when we were dating then married. I didn’t know what it was like to lost a loved one. I remember my great grandmother passing away but I was a kid back then and didn’t process what was going on.

      With my father and grandmother, I knew exactly how it felt and it sucked. My Christmas spirit was gone. I didn’t care about presents. I didn’t care about decorating. I feel like that was the beginning of me going down the road of being an introvert. I didn’t process or handle their loss very well. To this day, I obviously miss them and wish my father along with grandmother were still around to meet my kids.

      When my kids were born in 2006 and 2008, my Christmas spirit came back little by little. To see the joy on their faces unwrapping their gifts and being surprised made me happy. My perspective on Christmas had changed. I really didn’t care much for what I got. I wanted to get things my kids wanted.

      As I write this, my Christmas spirit is still not what it used to be. I much rather stay home, open gifts, and eat dinner in the comfort in my house. Not having to worry about changing clothes and driving. I’m not close to my Mom’s side of the family like I used to be so I spend most of my time going to my sister in laws house.

      Even going to their house simply doesn’t bring that joy anymore. Loading up the car with gifts, food to cook, etc. is too much work. We don’t even exchange gifts. We started this white elephant tradition which is stupid. Buy a gag gift and then the family randomly picks a gift, decides to keep it or trade it, and that’s it.

      Maybe I’m too much of a grinch and the product of being an only child growing up, not having a close family. Maybe it’s the fact I’m getting older and simply want to be antisocial. After all, I have enough going on with work as a federal government employee.

      With Christmas being 2 days away, I’m trying to change my mood but it’s hard. There are a lot of things that I get anxious over and I’m trying to find a way to deal with it. The biggest is my wife’s health. After her tripe bypass surgery, she hasn’t gotten better and I have to help her a lot. In the back of my mind, I wonder how many Christmas’ does she have left or is there a Christmas miracle in our future where she’ll get better.

      It may be the most wonderful time of the year for some but it’s still not for me. I’ll just wake up in 2 days and make the best of it.

    • RIP Greg Biffle

      Photo Courtesy of NASCAR.com

      I got into NASCAR racing in 1993 when Coach Joe Gibbs of the then Washington Redskins started a NASCAR team. I didn’t know much about NASCAR back then. I didn’t know any of the drivers, the tracks, or the races.

      As I began watching, I really got into the sport and began to know who Dale Earnhardt and Richard Petty were. I would watch NASCAR every time it came on and even attended some races. It was fun to watch.

      Between the 1990s and early 2000s, NASCAR was, in my opinion, really at it’s peak. There was a long list of stars on the top series which at the time was called the Winston Cup Series. One of those drivers was Greg Biffle.

      Biffle rose up in the ranks of the 3 top series: Truck Series, Busch Series (which is the equivalent of minor leagues for baseball), and the Cup series. He won the championships in the Truck and Busch series but was never able to get a Cup series championship.

      I was not a fan but wasn’t a hater either. I only rooted for the Joe Gibbs drivers which at the time was 2 teams. It was Bobby Labonte and Tony Stewart.

      More than 24 hours ago, tragedy occurred. A plane with Greg Biffle, his wife, his two kids, and three other passengers died in a plane crash. The plane had taken off but was returning because there was an issue with the plane. As it returned, something terribly went wrong and the plane crashed into a fireball on the runway with no survivors.

      I can’t even begin to imagine the pain the families are feeling right now. The shock I’m feeling is the same shock I felt when Dale Earnhardt passed away in 2001 at the Daytona 500. It broke my heart and made me really sad. I wasn’t a fan of Earnhardt either. All of those feelings back then are coming back now.

      This tragedy also occurred several days away from the Christmas holiday. It’s usually a time that is spent with loved ones.

      My hope with that crash yesterday was that anyone on the plane didn’t suffer. I don’t know if that sounds morbid but being stuck on a plane with it completely engulfed in flames is unimaginable.

      I never met Greg Biffle or knew much about him outside of racing but I really respected him when he used his own helicopter and money to help people affected by Hurricane Helene in North Carolina. He helped people when the U.S. Government failed to help.

      He was so dedicated to helping those people and giving them a sense of hope. I really respect that and envy that I could be person like that.

      While I along with others in the NASCAR community are sad with heavy hearts, we’ll remember and cherish the memories Biffle gave on and off the track. I hope NASCAR will do something this upcoming year to honor him which I’m sure they will do.

      RIP Biff

    • The Perfect Space: Cabin in the Wood

      Daily writing prompt
      You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
      View all responses

      I’m trying to get better with blogging but life lately has been affecting my creativity along with writing.

      I really like this question and had an immediate answer. My perfect space to read or write is a a log cabin in the woods near a river, pond, or lake.

      It would have to be some place quiet. Away from the city. Away from a lot of activity. A place where the only things you hear is nature. Birds happily chirping. Squirrels running through the woods and running up trees. Maybe some other animal like a deer running through the woods.

      I’m sure there is such a place but I haven’t found it yet. While I’m grateful for a roof over my head, I hate where I live. Too much traffic, too much noise, and way too much smells of marijuana. I wish for one day I didn’t have to smell marijuana. It stinks!

      Getting back on track, I have hopes of eventually moving to a more quiet house. Maybe it will be a log cabin in the woods or a house further away from the city where there is peace and quiet. I need to make that dream become more of a reality with determination and a lot of motivation.

    • Can You Hear Me Now?

      Cellphones have become a instrumental part of society. They are not far from people or constantly in people’s hands. My kids are glued to theirs a lot more than I care to admit but I would be a hypocrite if I said I was glued to mine as well.

      It’s amazing how the technology continues to improve on them. You can do anything with them besides using them as phones. You can use them as digital wallet, download thousands of apps to make purchases, or use it as a camera. I could go on because the things these devices can do is endless.

      I’ll admit, my phone rarely not beside me. If I’m walking some place, I have it with me. I’ll leave the psychological, negative effects these devices for another time.

      There are two things that are pet peeves of mine with cellphones. Actually, I only had one until recently. My biggest pet peeve is people using speaker phone. If you’re by yourself, sure I’m cool with that but in a public setting, I don’t need to hear your conversation.

      Common courtesy in public is a thing of the past. I constantly hear people talking on their speaker phone with the volume turned all the way up. Some times, I just want to rip the phone out of the person’s hand and smash it but that wouldn’t be a good idea.

      My most recent pet peeve is phone conversations in the bathroom. There is this guy at work that I’ve seen having a phone conversation while doing his business in the bathroom several times.

      Yeah, it doesn’t concern me but does the person on the other end of the line need to hear you relieving yourself? Is the call really that important that you can’t wait 5 to 10 minutes? Sorry but if I hear a toilet flushing, I’ll ask someone to call me back when they are done.

      It amazes that cellphones are so important that we can’t even get a little privacy in the bathroom. At least the guy has his phone conversations on the phone and not the speaker phone.

      Sorry for the rant but just needed to air that out.


    • Daily Prompt: Beach or Mountains

      Daily writing prompt
      Beach or mountains? Which do you prefer? Why?
      View all responses

      Do I prefer the beach or mountains? I have a complicated answer for that. At least in my mind it feels complicated.

      The beach brings some level of happiness and relaxation. Getting up early to watch the sun rise out of the ocean. Listening to the sound of the waves crashing. Listening to kids gleefully scream having fun playing in the sand or playing in the ocean. Then there are the other things I enjoy. The smell of sun lotion, the sound of a plane flying across the sky with a banner, or listening to a boat jump the ocean waves.

      On the downside of the beach there is jamming your car full of stuff you’ll need for the vacation then unpacking when you reach your destination. Lugging all the things you need for the beach through hot sand and lugging it back. Then there is the sand itself. It gets EVERYWHERE and is a pain to clean up.

      Then there are the mountains. Peace and quiet. Watching the sun rise over the mountains or watching the leaves change color during the season. There’s not a lot to do in the mountains versus going to the beach but it depends on what you want to do.

      As I write this and compare both, they are pros and cons. I think if I’m forced to choose one, I would say the mountains. I often dream of moving to a place in the mountains. Building a log cabin, walking on my porch enjoying a sip of hot coffee. Listening to absolutely nothing. Well maybe an occasional bird or two happily chirping as the day gets started.

      The older I get the more I want peace and quiet. If you asked me this question 10 or 15 years ago, I would probably say the beach.

      I haven’t been to a place in the mountains for years but I often dream of moving somewhere where there are mountains. I would love to go hiking on trails, watching the leaves change color, enjoying a winter wonderland of freshly fallen snow.

      Maybe some day that dream will come true.

    • What I’m Reading?

      Daily writing prompt
      What book are you reading right now?
      View all responses

      When I was a kid or even a teenager, I hated reading books and hated doing book reports. There was other things I would rather do than read. I thought it was stupid.

      As I got older and little wiser, I enjoy reading books especially if there is a good story. Reading helps me relax, get immersed into the story, and forgot about real life for that short amount of time.

      A lot of people prefer to still read the actual book, smell the book pages, and have a hard copy in their hands. I actually prefer reading on my tablet or through a Kindle app. It’s probably not the best method since I already stare at my phone for long periods of time.

      Anyway, I’m reading two books right now which I’m trying to stop doing but I’m trying to meet my Kindle reading challenge for the year which is 18 books. LOL.

      The first book I’m reading is Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit. This is part of the 5 book Clone Wars series and is another novel in the Star Wars Expanded Universe or Legends that takes place between Star Wars: Attack of the Clones and Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.

      So far, I enjoy the book. I started my Expanded Universe journey 2 years ago and it’s been a roller coaster ride. Some novels are good while others are excruciatingly painful to finish. I still have ways to go before finishing the EU then I may switch over to the canon series novels which tie into the movies.

      The second book I’m reading is “The Last Hart Beating” by Nattie Neidhardt. She’s the longest serving female WWE superstar. Yes, I know wrestling is fake.

      I always enjoy reading wrestling superstar biographies. To get the behind the scene type stories and in ring stories always fascinates me. I don’t watch wrestling as much as I used to but I still follow wrestling on the various social media platforms and several of the WWE superstars including Nattie.

      I’m about 25% into the book and it’s an enjoyable but yet hard read. Hard meaning how much Nattie along with her family struggled financially in her childhood. When you look at these superstars, they have a way of hiding their personal struggles and demons. You think of them as invincible when in reality they are like you and have struggles.

      One of the things that I’ve learned in reading various wrestling books is that it’s a business I have no interest in or don’t have the passion for. The amount of dedication these superstars have and how much they risk to become successful is incredible. It’s definitely a business you don’t want to get into if you want to start a family. There is a lot of sacrifice involved.

    • Channeling My Inner Darth Vader

      A few weeks ago in my blog https://fromanintrovertscorner.blog/2025/10/07/living-in-denial/, I wrote about a sleep study I attended and how I was going to need a CPAP machine. My sister in law along my wife added a positive spin to it saying I could be like Darth Vader now. They’re not wrong.

      I finally got the machine over the weekend and have begun using it. I wish I had gotten it sooner but between the health insurance along with the sleep center, it felt like I wasn’t going to get the machine until next year.

      Lately, I’ve been feeling exhausted, tired, and unmotivated. The stress of work along with the shutdown plus things at home were becoming too much.

      I remember with the sleep study that I was still tired but certainly didn’t feel exhausted like I had been.

      3 days into using my CPAP machine, I woke up this morning feeling great. Not exhausted. I can’t remember the last time, I felt that way. It’s been forever.

      It’s been an adjustment getting used to the face mask on my face and sleeping though. I bought this Tempur-pedic contour neck pillow that I thought would be the answer to my sleep apnea without a machine but I was obviously wrong. Trying to use that pillow along with my CPAP mask has been difficult.

      Last night, I went back to my old pillow which is a memory foam and got some good rest. Now I wish I hadn’t spent the $100 for the Tempur-pedic and the pillow cases. As I mentioned in https://fromanintrovertscorner.blog/2025/10/07/living-in-denial/, I was living in denial. I didn’t want to accept that I had a sleeping issue.

      In hindsight, I wish I had done this sooner. This means, I’m constantly going to hear from my wife “I told you so” and “I was right”. Today is our 25th wedding anniversary so I’ll admit she’s right…this time. Don’t want to be in the dog house.

      Getting back on track, I do wish I wasn’t so stubborn and did this sooner. How much would things be different, if at all? Probably not much different but I’m glad I got over my stubbornness. I’m only 3 days in but hoping for better days ahead of sleeping. Life and work is already stressing me out and I need as much sleep as I can get.

      Now time to Google for a Darth Vader CPAP face mask to channel my inner dark side 🙂

    • Always an excuse…

      What have you been putting off doing? Why?

      There have been too many things I’ve put off that need to get done.  Too many to list and too many excuses on why.

      I’ve tried not to beat myself up and focus on small or baby steps.  Making small progress.

      Unfortunately life gets in the way sometimes or things needing more importance get done first while other things get pushed back and often forgotten about.

      While trying to prioritize the many things needing to get done, I spend a lot of time focusing on my mental health.  With the government shutdown, people losing jobs, and work I often find myself taking time to reset.

      It doesn’t help either when I’m dealing with sleep apnea.  I wake up exhausted and feeling like I didn’t get enough sleep.  Hopefully I’ll be getting my CPAP machine soon.

      I realize that I spent the past paragraphs listing excuses…oh well.  Sometimes it’s better to let things air out rather than bottling them up.

      Either way, I’m working slowly on the things I’ve put off and making the list smaller…baby steps

    • Like a Broken Record…

      I’ve been working in the US Federal Government for the past 24 years. In the first 10 years, I was a contract employee then I flipped to a full time government employee.

      Since becoming a permanent employee, it feels like every year there is a threat of a government shutdown. Congress can’t get their act together and wait to the last minute to either come to an agreement or let the government shutdown. Thankfully, I haven’t been through many shutdowns but when they have happened they have been brutal.

      The last shutdown under President Trump lasted 35 days and it happened during Christmas. I scheduled leave for the holiday into the new year. That got cancelled. Bah humbug!

      Now under Trump’s second term, there is yet another government shutdown and this one can last longer than 35 days.

      The timing of this shutdown could not come at a worse time. Trump and his administration frankly have crapped all over federal employees. From reducing pay and reducing benefits, the mental health of employees, including mine, has taken a huge toll. Many people left the government because they were fed up with it. Then there were people who stayed around because they had no choice and ended up getting fired.

      Fortunately, I’ve avoided the chopping block but I admit the thought of leaving government has popped up in my head a lot. Why haven’t I left? Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. Truthfully, I do enjoy the work I do and the people I work with. It’s the people way above me that I don’t respect and frankly don’t understand the work that is done to keep the government functioning. Their heads are some place else and with different priorities.

      I need to watch what I say. I can easily go on a rant about how corrupt the government is and can get myself in trouble. It’s very frustrating dealing with people who make decisions without coming down from the clouds and seeing the whole picture.

      This government shutdown is a perfect example. Both sides are blaming each other while employees are expected to come into work for free and other workers are sitting at home possibly getting fired for no reason except political games.

      I blame Congress as a whole for letting this happen. While they say their fight is for the American people, letting the government shutdown has devasting effects specifically federal employees not getting paid. How much more crap do federal employees have to put up with?

      I’m hopeful this shutdown won’t last as long as these ass clowns are predicting. It’s infuriating and the political games need to stop. These people still get paid during shutdown. I’m sure if they didn’t get paid, there would be a different discussion.

      The joys of being a federal employee.

    • Remembering the Space Shuttle Challenger

      Daily writing prompt
      What major historical events do you remember?
      View all responses

      It was 1986 and I was in 4th or 5th grade if memory isn’t completely failing me. On that January 28th, I vaguely remember the events of that day. I didn’t have many friends and practically lived in my own little world. I didn’t really pay a lot of attention to the news at that age.

      Anyway, I knew there was going to be a space shuttle launch and the first teacher was going to go into space. This was a big deal and there was excitement about it.

      For those that aren’t familiar with the space shuttle Challenger, the launch ended in tragedy. The shuttle exploded and much to my surprise many years later, I learned some of, if not all, the astronauts actually survived the explosion but the cockpit part of the shuttle landed in the water and they couldn’t escape.

      I don’t remember much about that day. I can’t remember if we actually saw the launch on TV but I do remember hearing about the shuttle exploding. As a 8 year old, naive to current events and news, I didn’t know how to process it. What did that mean? Did the astronauts survive? I didn’t understand what happened.

      I wish I could remember that day because looking back it was a sad day for NASA. I wish I could remember what my 8 year old self felt and how the rest of the day went. Wish I could find that DeLorean and go back in time.

      Unfortunately, another shuttle disaster happened many years later involving the space shuttle Columbia. The shuttle disintegrated re-entering Earth. It wasn’t long after that, the space shuttle program was decommissioned.

      Space trave has its risks and these brave astronauts that go into these crafts and into space are admirable. I hope I live long enough to be able to travel to space commercially. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Star Trek or Star Wars. It would be cool to go into space and see Earth along with the moon.